Infidelity, spirituality, unconditional love and cheating: 7 forms of infidelity
One of the most popular love topics people ask us about is infidelity and how it relates to fate and karma.
The American Heritage English Dictionary defines infidelity as “Lack of fidelity or loyalty, especially towards a spouse.” Define fidelity as “Fidelity to obligations or duties.”
Let’s consider various forms of infidelity in addition to cheating.
1. Withholding affection and sex in your marriage or relationship, for whatever reason, causes a great divide between you and your partner. Respect deteriorates, as does trust. Everyone wants to be valued and needed. If someone is denied affection or sex in your relationship, they may feel justified in getting it elsewhere. Would that incur negative karma, you ask? If it involved lies and cheating, it likely will, as does using sex as a bargaining chip or manipulative tool in a relationship.
2. Be fiscally irresponsible.
3. Allowing yourself to be unattractive to your partner, such as gaining a lot of weight, is considered by some to be as bad as fooling around behind your partner’s back.
4. Suddenly ignoring your partner’s emotional needs or their need to connect with you on any other level, such as intellectual.
5. Maintaining an emotionally intimate relationship with a person other than your spouse, flirting (in person and online) and even fantasizing about someone other than your spouse (although from a spiritual point of view, it is natural) could be considered forms of infidelity. Some have asked us if we believe that mutual agreement on non-monogamy creates negative karma and our answer is always “no” if you are honest and act responsibly with everyone involved.
6. Not making the time you spend with your partner a priority, and always hanging out with your friends could be considered a form of infidelity.
7. Promising to cook and run the household in exchange for your partner providing financially, and then failing to keep your end of the bargain after you get married is cheating and also creates negative karma.
Changing your tone in any way that disappoints your partner, after the commitment has been made, could be considered a form of infidelity. This also applies to unspoken agreements and when a person has represented himself in a certain way.
In an attempt to stay faithful (and in some cases ignore fate and karma), prenuptial agreements are common today. Some think that prenuptial agreements should also include things like how household chores will be divided and exactly how much sex (frequency, style, required attitude about it, etc.) will be included in the marriage.
After all, since the traditional marriage is a legally binding arrangement, like a business arrangement, it could be said that each partner is legally bound to keep their end of the bargain.
It is unknown what exactly a couple would do in 5, 10, 20 or more years if they don’t get what they want and need in their relationship. Therefore, taking a business approach to love (legally binding agreement, i.e. marriage certificate) requires business negotiations before the event for the sake of justice and to protect both parties.
Not very romantic, you say? Neither is a 60% divorce rate in the US and the fact that many (statistics say about 50%) of those who do not divorce are cheating.
However, from a spiritual point of view, you cannot expect your lover to act a certain way and then honestly say that you are expressing unconditional love. Unconditional means that you don’t expect anything in return. Yet in today’s world, where life savings, businesses, careers, children’s safety, and more are at stake, an unpragmatic approach to relationships is often lamented.
Attempts to rewrite personal destiny and avoid your karma with a legally binding contract may never be successful, but openly and realistically discussing hopes and expectations at the beginning of a relationship will at least help now. Putting them in writing will help later.
If one disappoints, should the other be free to investigate other options without financial or other penalties? Maybe that should be part of the contract too.
Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo