Pets

Seduction in Marriage – Sex Tips for Married Men

What happened to the sexual revolution, anyway? I know that many of my male clients feel that the sexual temperature at home is much more like 50 than 70.

As a marriage counselor, I have a bird’s eye view of this phenomenon, so I thought I’d offer my observations. After all, both men and women tell me about their sexual problems throughout the day. (Okay, they talk about other things too!) A lot of people, and that includes therapists, make the mistake of thinking that all you need to have great sex is love.

They tend to hope that when they do the emotional repair, the desire will return. Emotional closeness is essential. But desire operates by its own natural laws. If you don’t obey them, the chemistry fails. What I see over and over again is that married people forget that the path to sex is… seduction.

Seduction tips for men

flirt a little

What do women find seductive? First, for women, seduction begins in the mind, not the body. Your wife needs to feel loved and special. And they need pampering and fun, a relaxation area. Flirting, in other words. It is difficult for her to go from being a responsible adult, who takes care of the chores and the children, to making love, unless she first changes her mind.

Do you remember how you did it in the early days of your relationship? I highly doubt that she reached out and grabbed your girlfriend when she was trying to get her to sleep after a hard day. But many of you seem to be using this approach now. (So ​​I have heard.)

Seduce through housework

Housework is directly related to sex in a woman’s mind, and not in a good way. You probably know that your wife is resentful that you don’t help out enough with the housework. Instead of getting into endless arguments about what’s “fair,” look at it this way: A woman who feels like the maid doesn’t feel like a sex kitten. What you prefer is up to you.

Also, a messy house is an antiaphrodisiac for women. That’s why he loves to go on romantic weekends. Relaxing in a beautiful room that she didn’t (and won’t!) have to clean, now that’s seductive!

Warning for men: a man’s response to this information is usually to do a task and expect instant gratification. If his wife has years of resentment about housework, he doesn’t clean the kitchen once, get rejected and say, “It doesn’t work!”

take love lessons

Once you’re in bed, do you know what to do? I’m not trying to be harsh, but I’m sorry, the honest truth is that many of you don’t. This is not entirely your fault.

Many times in the early stages of a relationship, women care more about romance than sex and are less demanding. So you don’t need to be so clever. And the novelty itself makes sex fun and exciting.

But sex with you is no longer new. His wife has a mortgage and children, and perhaps more concerns about her health and body image. You have a lot more competition for her attention. You have to really know what she likes to keep her interested.

Or maybe he never really talked about what he wanted. Maybe you never got into the habit of talking to each other about what you like. This is why so many couples are out of sync in bed. And it can be hard to start that conversation if you’ve been away from the table for years.

You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. In fact, it’s probably best not to. That can create pressure. Just a polite question here or there, and you can get to know each other again.

The next time you want more spice in your bedroom, don’t think, “What’s wrong with her?” Instead, she thinks, “Am I being seductive?” That’s when things will start to change.

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