What to do if your partner is not ready to marry

You have met the perfect partner. You have taken the time to get to know them. You are comfortable with them and your instinct tells you that this is the one. You can talk to them and they listen to you. While you may argue, it is never too serious and it is always resolved. You have a good life with your partner and you think that you could be happy together for the rest of your lives. For you, the ultimate consummation of your love and your relationship is marriage. But what if your partner is not ready for marriage?

Are you ready for marriage? When you get married you give up a lot, you can no longer live your life according to what is best for you, you have to take into account the wishes and needs of your spouse. If you want your marriage to be a success, you have to keep working on it, can you commit to that? By working together to create the best marriage possible, you will gain far more than you lose. But that doesn’t help if your partner isn’t ready to get married.

What are your expectations for your marriage? Are you looking for a stage, and everyone lived happily ever after, as you see in the movies? This may surprise people, but what you see in the movies is not real life, it is a story, the stories tend to represent an ideal world and not reality. Are you able to accept your partner for who they are and live to create the best marriage possible?

There’s also the problem that if you mention the M-word early, you can make your prospective partner run for the hills. Marriage is a serious commitment, it is not one that you have to make on the spur of the moment. They should take the time to really get to know each other, so that they can be sure that they are suitable for each other.

Is your partner afraid of commitment? When you are married it is much more difficult and expensive to separate than when you are in a relationship.

If your partner is not ready to get married, have you tried talking to her about it? Have you tried to identify the problems that are holding you back? Have they seen too many divorces, are they afraid of losing their relationship with you over something unknown, or do they have certain goals they want to achieve before settling down, getting married, and perhaps having the added responsibility of having children? .

Just because your partner isn’t ready to get married now doesn’t mean you won’t change your mind. They may not be sure or trust their emotions, so they need time to find out how they feel about you.

Marriage is not only about love and commitment, there are also the practical things of the day to day, do you know how you will handle all that? Do you know where you will live, buy or rent, what happens if one of you has to move for work reasons, what about the jobs, how the bill payments will be divided, who does what in the house, what about the children , how many and when There are many boring, mundane things, but all the things necessary to work.

If your partner is not ready to get married, have you talked to her about it? Have you been able to identify your concerns? Once you can identify your concerns, you can find out how to address them. This is also a good time to talk about what marriage means to the two of you and how you see your relationship developing. It helps to have similar visions for your future, because if you are working two different schedules, a miserable time awaits you. Talk about what you mean to each other, this will help you better understand where your relationship is right now.

If your partner is not ready to get married, there are 3 things you can do:

1. Carry on as you are, but strive to build the best relationship possible, be the partner they can’t live with, and as your relationship deepens, your partner may be talking about the M word.

two. You could give them an ultimatum and a time limit for them to decide to get married, or you will walk. This is a high risk strategy and not one that I would recommend. There is always the possibility that they will not be blackmailed and you will have a painful decision to make. If you force someone to marry you, you will never know if it is because they want to or because of your ultimatum.

3. Have a long-term commitment. Just because you get engaged doesn’t mean you have to get married next week. Getting engaged is essentially stage one down the aisle, telling the world that at some point you’re getting married. If your partner is happy that he will marry you at some point, why not have a long engagement? You get the commitment you need and your partner has the time they need to accept that they want to marry you.

When you get married, it has to be because you both want to get married. You cannot start life with a reluctant spouse. If your partner is the one, then talk about their feelings, if you feel so strong for them, they may feel the same for you, but you will not know until you talk about it. If there are problems your partner needs to solve, help them overcome them. If your partner is not ready to get married, remind them that accepting a proposal does not mean that both of you are walking down the aisle the next day.