Approval seeking: Can someone’s wounded inner child cause them to be an approval seeker?

It could be said that they are at least two types of people; those who rarely seek approval and those who seek a lot of approval. When someone fits into the first category, it will be possible for him to live his own life.

The reason for this is that they will not need the go-ahead or permission before doing something. So if they have a need to do something, they will be able to fulfill that need.

The ideal

Ultimately, they will be free to express themselves and this will allow them to live a life worth living. It could have been this way for as long as you can remember, or perhaps it has taken you a while to get to this point.

Either way, they will be able to make the most of their time on this earth. However, while this will be the optimal way to experience life, there are many people who cannot relate to it.

a very different life

For someone like that, almost everything they do will be a way to gain approval from others. As a result of this, they will not be able to live their own lives.

They will be living a life that matches, and what they think matches, what other people want. Therefore, even if they appear to be happy, this will be nothing more than an act.

Why is that?

For someone to be truly happy, they need to be in touch with their true self and have their life be an expression of it. By focusing on others and what will please them, they will not be able to express their true self.

However, if they do express who they are, it is likely to be the exception rather than the rule. Who they really are, then, will rarely see the light of day, and this will create a lot of pain.

A battle

Still, this is not to say that they will ever come into contact with this pain, because of how they behave. Thanks to the approval they get, they will be able to experience ‘positive’ feelings and thus keep this pain at bay.

Furthermore, this entire process is likely to take place without one even realizing what is happening. Ergo, it’s not that they’re consciously seeking approval; this is something that is occurring just outside of your conscious awareness.

An attention call

So that they no longer behave in this way, it will be necessary for them to become aware of what is happening. This perception will have to be something that leaves an indelible mark on them and does not leave their consciousness soon after.

Once they get to this point, it will allow them to reflect on their life and see that behaving in this way is not serving their highest good. From here, they will be able to do something about what is happening.

The next step

If they were to get to this point and end up seeking support, they might come to believe that they are behaving this way because they have ‘low self-esteem’. With this in mind, the key will be for them to develop this part of them, and this could be seen as something that will be done primarily by changing their thoughts and behaviors.

Taking a step back from what is going on in their mind, being ‘mindful’, will allow them to get an idea of ​​how they talk to themselves. From here, they will be able to replace their ‘negative’ thoughts with ‘positive’ thoughts.

A process

By having different thoughts, they will be able to feel better and behave differently. This will come down to the fact that your thoughts will be seen to control how you feel.

As the weeks and months go by, you may find that you spend less time trying to seek approval and more time expressing yourself. On the other hand, this approach might not last or simply not work.

a closer look

If this approach doesn’t have the desired effect, it’s arguably not a big surprise. There’s a good chance that your need for approval has very little to do with what’s going on above and a lot to do with what’s going on below, so to speak.

Put another way, your need for approval is likely a sign that your emotional body is not in a good way. This part of them will also be where their inner child will be found.

a time to listen

Now, one may be completely out of touch with their inner child, but this part of them will continue to have a massive impact on their life. During all this time, the needs of your inner child will have merged with your adult needs, preventing you from seeing what was happening.

This childish part of them will carry all the needs that were not met during their childhood years. Many, many years may have passed since they were children, but these needs will have stayed with them and, until recognized, will continue to do so.

a different perspective

What this means is that while they can be seen to have a strong need for approval and this can be seen as a “negative”, it would be more accurate to say that the childish part within them is looking for the love and nurturing that it hasn’t received in so many years. years. To this part of them, approval, acceptance, attention, and validation will be seen as love.

With this understanding in place, one will be able to get in touch with this part of them and grieve their unmet childhood needs. Without it, it will be normal for them to judge themselves and try to change the effects of what is happening.

Awareness

If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.