December 21, 2012: The Day Earth Dies
The world as we know it will be destroyed on December 21, 2012.
Notice that I am not saying maybe or saying anything like that, I say it directly and very clearly: the world WILL BE destroyed on December 21, 2012.
Doesn’t that prove I’m a profit … uh, I mean a prophet, straight from the er portal … straight from … wherever the prophets come?
Haha … no, it’s not like that. I am NOT a prophet. I am a conspiracy theorist and my name is Conspiracy Man.
I became Conspiracy Man when the big booming voice suddenly appeared in my head one day and … uh … ok, that’s a completely different story. This article is not about that, but about what will happen on December 21, 2012.
Let me give you the real facts and not the usual speculations that you read on all these other websites.
I, Conspiracy Man (loud echo), am the only one who knows the truth.
People think that only one thing is going to happen on December 21, 2012 that will destroy the world as we know it. That is simply not true. Basically, there is no single event that can destroy our world. No, sisters and brothers, you have to get up very early in the morning to destroy the whole world. Our land is a tough cookie.
Objective…
On December 1, 2012, so many disasters will hit the earth at the same time, that we have no chance of surviving. No, coincidence. When all these disasters occur at the same time, that is, at 10:00 on December 21, 2012, the earth will hatch like an egg.
Okay, some of us will survive, because some of us, namely me, Conspiracy Man (loud echo), are building an underground titanium hideaway, where I’m going to sit in the cataclysm while drinking Coke and playing Need For Speed . On my Xbox 360 (and, by the way, watching and laughing at people laughing and poking fun at articles like this, through my video wall, embedded in my underground titanium hideaway).
Others will survive, because they will be safe in giant coffers, built in the Himalayas by the Chinese even as you read this, when disaster strikes. For you who now want to rush to get your names listed, please wait; you will have to pay a billion euros in advance before your name appears on the list. (By the way, this was not stolen from the 2012 movie plot. 2012 was made to portray the actual construction of the giant arks in the Himalayas, so any conspiracy theorist who writes about it will be called a fool, because people will say it comes from a movie plot. Can you see how smart the Illuminati are?)
After these disasters, about 8 percent of the world’s population will remain alive. We will have to rebuild the world from scratch.
It’s not a pretty picture … it’s not a pretty picture at all …
I have studied a lot and collected information on the cataclysm of 2012:
I put my sticky fingers on highly classified secret photos that the powers that rule this world don’t want you to see.
Why is 2012 going to happen?
Who first predicted 2012 and how did they know it was true?
What exactly will happen on December 21, 2012? It’s more of a disaster, but what exactly are those disasters?
Is there anything you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones on that faithful day?
How is the current recession related to December 21, 2012?
How is the current crisis in the Middle East and other Arabic-speaking nations related to December 21, 2012?
Why is Muamar Gadhafi a key figure in the cataclysm of December 21, 2012? Think about it for a second, you’ve always been living in a tent, no matter where you went. I’ve found out why.
Watch this space while the clock keeps ticking …