male sexual fantasies
In search of knowledge and understanding of sexual arousal, I went to a large newsstand on London’s Oxford Street to check the covers of fifty or more pornographic magazines, which were lined up along the top shelf. More than 90% were aimed at heterosexual men. Most of the rest was male homosexual pornography. The very few pornographic magazines for women were for lesbians.
UK magazine ‘Men’s Health’ (March 2000) refers to men’s ‘secret stash of pornography’. Men’s sexual arousal is often easy, and men buy visual pornography because they need some mechanism (in the absence of anything real) to release the sexual frustration caused by their daily arousal.
“After thinking about sex every six seconds for six days, men start to need to do something about it.” (p15 Bluffer’s Guide for Men 1998)
Younger men can get by with masturbation for a few days, but eventually (usually the weekend!) they want to get in on some real action. If men were happy to use masturbation indefinitely as a substitute for sex, then there really would be a chance that the human race would go extinct! It also makes sense that men might find thrusting during penetrative sex the most satisfying way to release their sexual emotions simply because nature designed it that way.
Men’s sexual fantasies are more easily mapped into reality than women’s.
Perhaps it’s worth pointing out the obvious that men don’t reach orgasm simply by looking at pictures of the female form. In their minds, they also need to contemplate what they would like to be doing with a sexual partner.
Men find it much easier than women to transfer orgasm techniques to sex with a partner. Physically, the vagina may not grip the penis as firmly as a hand, but the penis is still directly stimulated. Likewise, men’s sexual fantasies are quite easily related to a real-life sexual encounter. Instead of looking at photos of naked women, a man now has something real in front of him.
“Reality and fantasy are further apart for women than for men…” (p179 Satisfaction Guaranteed 1996)
Initially, the arousal of a new sexual partner is enough for a man to reach orgasm without further assistance. However, over time, men also use sexual fantasies to help them have more routine sex with a partner by envisioning more adventurous sexual episodes.
“…people who feel more guilty about fantasizing during sexual intercourse have higher levels of sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction than those who are relatively guilt-free.” (p417 Human Sexuality (Fifth Edition) 1995)