Women attract men by sexualizing themselves
We wear clothing for warmth, decency, protection, and also for display. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Some women use the dress as a means of sexual provocation (a form of invitation). Women tend to display their bodies to the maximum extent allowed by the definition of decency in the society in which they live. That’s why western women wear low-cut tops that accentuate their cleavage and push-up bras that make their breasts look bigger. Men are not shown this way.
We can differentiate between excitations and provocations. An arousal is a sight, sound, or behavior that can turn someone on. Excitants are not always associated with an intent to excite. Men tend to confuse arousals (such as attractiveness) with teasing (conscious sexual behaviors by women).
A come-on is intended to cause excitement. A come-on is essentially a sexual invitation. Specifically, a come-on is a behavior that a woman uses to arouse a man into wanting to have sex with her. It is very explicit in what she says or does so that there is no question that she is making a sexual invitation. This behavior is very common in pornography. Real women can use the simple mechanism of wearing a negligee as a provocation.
Young women are more likely to show their bodies because they are looking for a partner. Many women believe that it is an essential part of their femininity to wear shoes that show off their feet or clothes that accentuate their figure. They assume that a woman who wears practical shoes or functional clothing must be a lesbian or may want to be a man. But how a woman dresses is just a behavior and not a sign of receptivity.
Invariably, the message to a woman is that if she wants to be successful, she must use her body. She is thus admired, she makes friends and is promoted in the world of work. Women look at other women for a variety of reasons. First, they look out of curiosity to judge the attractiveness of her own body in relation to others. Second, women want to learn from other women’s successful styles and behaviors. Ultimately, women want to make sure they are more attractive so they can feel better about themselves.
The colors that women wear have connotations. Red lipstick or nightwear is bold and attention-grabbing. Black and lace are associated with provocative evening wear for women. There are no male equivalents. Other women may be offended by female nudity because of this display of male admiration.
We all want to be loved and to please a lover. For the most part, there is no conscious intent to misrepresent women’s sexuality. Men sexualize women as part of their arousal process. Men assume that women enjoy being penetrated. Women passively indicate their docility by accepting male advances and not contradicting the male view of their sexuality.
A man enjoys fantasies that increase his arousal and promote his sexual ego. Most women have no experience of receptivity that can help them understand their own sexuality. A woman may feel better about her sexual role if she believes that she can respond as a man wants her to. Male sexual admiration can make a woman feel needed, appreciated, and loved.
A man’s erection communicates his desire for penetrative sex. A woman does not have any obvious evidence of her arousal, so she needs to substitute her behaviors. Prostitutes and sexually experienced women provide sexual appeal that a man interprets (according to male sexual behaviors) as a sign that a woman is aroused and actively seeking vaginal stimulation.
A woman has no biological reason to engage in sexual activity outside of her fertile period. A woman becomes pregnant because she ovulates. Her reproductive ability is based solely on her ability to attract a mate. Other female mammals raise their young alone. Humans (and primates) are the only animals in which men attack and kill women and children. A woman offers sex to motivate a man to protect her and her children.
The vast majority of interaction between the sexes involves a man admiring a woman. Without this attractive force, men would not bother with women. Nor would men be willing to subsidize women’s lifestyles. Women realize that this male admiration empowers them in their relationships. So, women allow men to make all sorts of advances that they silently ignore. In turn, a man comes to interpret silence and passivity as possible acceptance. So women need to be extremely rude before most men will accept rejection. This is the callousness that comes with the male sex drive.
Confusingly, for men, the women who scream the most about the female orgasm are the ones who have no idea how it’s achieved. But because they essentially reflect masculine fantasies, their claims are very persuasive. This is very natural. But men need to differentiate between what women say and what they actually do. The real issue for men is whether a woman is enthusiastic about investing in a long-term sexual relationship.
Much of this interest in bizarre or non-existent forms of sexual performance may represent delusion in the man, a projection of his own desire to engage in a variety of sexual activities, or his erotic response to the idea that other people, especially women, can participate in such activities. (Alfredo Kinsey 1953)