Charity Begins at Home – The Funeral Home
When we hear the word “charity” we think of love for our neighbor, love made visible as service to others. What does charity really mean to us? Charity, I believe, is the sheer joy of giving. It includes more than material things. We see it in the warmth of a smile from a stranger, a handwritten letter of thanks, a comforting hug, a prayer for healing, kindness to a grieving friend, a bond with someone in need. It is a karmic longing. We feel an abundance of warmth and love when we give. The true nature of charity is that the more you give; the greatest love returns to us.
Nowhere have we seen more charity and outpouring of love than in the recent crisis in the Northeast dubbed “Hurricane Sandy.” There were firefighters, police officers, and EMS workers in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania risking their lives for strangers in need. They were brave and courageous. They protected and rescued families, pets, and homes. They provided a service. Life saving service.
Others cleaned up sewage, repaired power outages, provided temporary shelter, food, water, and medical assistance. And true to the saying “charity begins at home”; many of these services began and ended at the funeral home. Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said: “To be fruitful, charity must cost us. To love it is necessary to give: to give it is necessary to be free from selfishness.” And without selfishness, that’s how more than 25 funeral directors acted when “Hurricane Sandy” hit our beaches, coasts and homes.
We didn’t think this storm would be as devastating as it was. We did not think that 111 houses in Breezy Point, New York, would be burned to the ground. We never thought that more than 30 people in Staten Island would lose their lives in this terrible storm. But we saw the grace; nobility and true character emerge on that solemn day. Meg Dunn, President/CEO of AAMI (American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service) in NY was the first to respond to the request for help. 18 AAMI alumni followed suit, as did funeral providers like ASD, a major funeral home answering service.
ASD sent boxes of donations from its employees to The Scalia Funeral Home in Staten Island for distribution to those in need. None of these victims had money to pay for a funeral.
And then the limo companies heard the call. Bklyn cosmopolitan trainer. /Long Island began packing up its hearses and delivering much-needed food, clothing and 50 cases of water to Sandy’s victims. Even the sons of the funeral director reached out to help those in danger. Chris Kasler, a funeral director at Sherman’s Flatbush Memorial Chapel in Bklyn. was discussing his efforts to coordinate funeral services for the deceased from “Hurricane Sandy” when his daughter Justine Brooks quietly collected his 30 pairs of new sneakers and donated them to the living.
She knew that many of those affected by the storm had lost their homes and only had the clothes on their backs, so she took her prized sneaker collection and generously provided shoes for 30 girls.
As Kevin Moran, funeral director at The Scalia Funeral Home on Staten Island and an instructor at AAMI, so eloquently put it: “It’s all about service. It’s what we can do. If you’re a sanitation worker, you clean up sewage, if you are a baker, you bake, if you are a funeral director, you care for the dead with care and grace.
Then there was this Facebook post from Tim E. Ryan from New Jersey. “So Hurricane Sandy destroyed two of my funeral homes. They tell us it will be at least eight months before we can start rebuilding.” Tim also lost his house, his hearse, his moving van, and his car. What was the first thing Tim did? He headed to New York and other affected areas to help bury the dead. He and other funeral professionals worked at funeral homes in New York and New Jersey, doing what they could “on duty.” They provided funeral and memorial services for those in need.
Many other funeral directors and funeral homes waived service fees, and many donated entire funerals. Funeral funds were established at many area churches and community centers. A cemetery donated graves. Scarpaci Funeral Home in NY buried two young children, ages 2 and 4. old men who were swept away by the deadly waters.
Of all the generosity shown by funeral service professionals in this time of crisis, one funeral home and its employees stand out. John Scalia, his son-in-law Kevin Moran and his families have donated many funeral services free of charge. The first was a Post Office employee who told his 21 and 25-year-olds. older daughters to keep them going while he turned off the circuit breaker in his house. They never saw his dad again as a 20 footer. the tidal wave swept him away. He was found days later in the swampy land. When these two young women arrived at Scalia’s Funeral Home, both Kevin and John immediately took over and provided their dad with a dignified funeral at no cost.
What makes this story so moving is that John and Kevin’s generosity didn’t stop with the funeral service. John also owns The Historic Old Bermuda Inn on Staten Island and opened his doors to everyone, providing food and shelter for more months for victims and volunteers. They also cooked and distributed meals to secondary schools and other temporary shelters, along with blankets and clothing. His funeral home emailed members of The Order of the Golden Rule, an independent association of funeral homes of several hundred who also donated supplies and goods from as far away as Canada and Australia. Thus in silence, and without stridency, Scalia fills his hearses with donations from this association. Other ordinary citizens collect memorial donations and distribute the money to those who still need it and those who are still grieving the loss of loved ones, because, as Kevin Moran said, “The funeral service doesn’t end when the casket is lowered into the ground. That’s why call it a funeral service.”
Charity is giving something significant to another without expecting to receive anything in return. No recognition for a good deed. Not even a thank you. Charity is giving for its own sake. The true meaning of charity is love. And during the “Hurricane Sandy” crisis, charity started at home; the undertaker
Do you have a story of a charitable act involving a funeral service? We’d love to hear it.