Everything I Wanted To Say To My Teenage Daughter That She Didn’t Want To Hear

I’m having a hard time trying to figure out how to write the “super blog”. So if you are among the few thousand readers who logged into this post, thank Gd! I did it. However, if you are the only person in the world who clicked here today, then I thank G-d even more; because I finally got you to pay attention to what I have to say.

Please understand that it is not that I want to talk all the time. I also want to listen to you and validate your feelings; but you don’t tell me things anymore. So how can we communicate if you don’t listen or share? I know it must have been frustrating at times, that your mother and I didn’t really know when to stop treating you like a child, but we made the effort and if you don’t find us even part of the way, you’ll never know. how good our relationship can be.

You know, we all have unique personalities by which we develop our familiar ways of being. You don’t learn it and you don’t earn it. In fact, we all have a way of being from forever that begins in the womb. Your anger issues must have started at that time because during your mother’s pregnancy, she used to say that she better eat before you start kicking her again. It was like you figured out how to let him know you were hungry. Then you showed your stubborn streak during your birth. You were halfway down the canal and suddenly you stopped. Your mother tried to push with all her might, but to no avail, so the doctor had to drag you kicking and screaming with a pair of forceps. When you finally surfaced, it seemed like you needed anger management therapy.

However, once the nurse wrapped you up and put you in the bassinet, you fell silent; looking around trying to assess the situation. The next moment, I stood behind you and took a photo with a flash. What a Kodak moment that was! Your eyes went wide and you turned your little peanut head in the direction of the flash. The two doctors and the two nurses laughed in astonishment; They said they had never seen a newborn do that (maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but we were all surprised and impressed). So, you made a grand entrance and you were the main attraction; a real holder. Then I knew that the trip of my life awaited me and you proved me right.

Yet with all the aggravation and heartbreak, I knew you had the makings of a star and that one day you would learn to connect your head to your heart and connect them. I wanted to always be there to guide you, even though I had to end up pushed into a remote corner like a useless broomstick by the time you turned fifteen. I also remembered that when I was a teenager, one of my favorite topics of conversation was kids complaining that their parents were too…whatever. Because of that, I knew it was going to be my turn, but I never wanted to be thought of as one of those dumb parents who could never understand their children; I guess that was just unavoidable.

Anyway, as you grew by the minute, there was always this driving force within you; an enormous amount of emotional energy like a boiler that has to vent steam or explode. You also had incredible psychic awareness that had us all gasping in awe. When you were two years old, we lived in the top half of a duplex with a flight of stairs leading from the front door to the living room. Every time someone opened the door, knocked or rang the doorbell, you would say who it was before they walked in. Every time you did that, I was flabbergasted; especially when you’d say your brother’s name and he’d show up two minutes later. I used to think that one day the police might ask you to solve his crimes.

You also hated being confined; but instead of complaining, you sat quietly in your playpen planning your escape. I never knew how, but you dug a hole in a corner big enough to crawl through. It took you two months, but you pulled off a perfect prison break.

Then all of a sudden you were wearing pigtails with those big eyes and dimpled smile. Everyone marveled at what a beautiful girl you were. You danced your way into the hearts of your teachers at the Robert Mann School of Dance in Bayside. Tapping on “Little Grass Shack in Hawaii” in that hula skirt during your first recital was a riot, but I was crying. The teacher put you in the center of the front row because you were the only kid who had the right moment with the heel and toe thing.

A year later, we found out you could sing too when we sent you to preschool at YM-WHA. The teacher had a tantrum because you were humming the theme song from the movie “The Godfather.” She thought you were viewing inappropriate material.

You have all the qualities for survival and success; unstoppable determination. But you also don’t have impulse control, because you haven’t had enough time to learn to assess unintended consequences. I tried to guide you and sometimes I lost my mind with some impulse of anger of my own. You see, this internal struggle never ends and it gets more complicated as you get older. Now you are only responsible for yourself, but as you grow up you will be responsible for others. however, you still have a profound effect on your little sister and the rest of your family.

However, as you reach adulthood, your decisions will alter the path of life for others and can even determine the outcome in life and death situations. Therefore, it becomes even more imperative to assess and assess the different possible outcomes of your choices before making them. But you didn’t listen to me and decided to ride the whirlwind. I rode it with you. It broke my heart to see you in gray prison in children’s jail. We learned a lot from each other during the family group therapy sessions that followed in the “Second Chance” program. Then my heart swelled with pride when I saw your high school diploma and I was doing mind flips on your first day of attending college.

Now you’ve just turned twenty and the teenage roller coaster is over for me. My knees are a little wobbly, but as I look at you now with your new dedication to your school work, I couldn’t be more proud. Maybe we had to go through the whole father-daughter storm after your mom and I got divorced, but I’m glad you want to live with me.